So how do I actually get to a mountain?
After thinking a lot about mountains I still wasn’t really any further forward in my quest, procrastination was still a good friend, then I got an offer of sorts! from a guy I chat to in another office at work. He wanted to take me walking in Scotland, he started to give me the attention and approval I so craved even came to see me, and after much mental confusion I agreed to go.
At first I was thinking what have I got myself into, well honestly I was thinking that for the whole trip. I’m driving to Scotland with someone I barely know to do something I have never tried before, what am I doing? Checked in to a slightly strange hotel complete with various stuffed creatures mounted on the walls, a four poster bed and Jacuzzi, so no expectation there then! After an interesting and anxiety filled night it was time to walk up a hill, Beinn Dunn to be precise.
So the weather is typically Scottish, I feel Ill from anxiety, and wearing some very non waterproof gear I’m off up the hill. So at this point I am questioning why it is I ever wanted to do this in the first place, and after gasping for breath, the constant sideways rain, several false summits, nearly being blown over and a strong desire to vomit I’d had enough, we were going down, now.
The rest of the weekend involved more anxiety a walk around a Loch and another interesting night, then it was time to go home. I felt deflated by my total failure to walk up a hill and confused by the fact a man was giving me attention as that was something I had avoided for a long time.
But when I got home I at least felt some pride for going out and doing something that truly terrified me in every sense.