New year rolled around, and my options for the evening included sitting and thinking about how I fucked up another year of my life and well that was it really.
So when Mr I didn’t call back asked me to spend New Year with him I quickly agreed. I was lonely and desperately craving comfort and attention, which were totally lacking in my life. It probably seems like a stupid decision after the results of last time, but I felt like I knew what I was getting this time. There were no expectations to disappoint.
The intention was to go walking again, this time closer to home in the Cheviots. We set off on New Years eve and after getting totally lost on the way to start point, we were finally ready to walk. The weather was good and I felt a little mote confident about completing the walk.
Walking through the beautiful Harthope Valley was enjoyable, finally being in the hills gave me sense of satisfaction. I enjoyed it more with each step and was glad I had made the decision to come.
Sadly our late arrival had doomed us from the start, we had to turn around we weren’t going to have enough daylight to compete the walk. I have to admit at this point I did have somewhat of a strop. Yet again I had completely failed to walk up a hill. My earlier satisfaction faded quickly, I was completely deflated.
Something good did come out of this time away, I did get some of the comfort I was seeking and also he finally gave me the push I needed to join the hill walking group. I hadn’t signed up to a walk yet but I had joined, so that was a start, a small step in the right direction.